bigmakjr's playground
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Just read a few verses that makes me think...so wanted to post.
Colossians 3:18-3:19
18 Wives, be submissive to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives and don't become bitter against them.
18: The bible calls for women to be submissive to their husbands, AS is fitting IN the Lord.
I looked up the definition of submit on dictionary.com. Here's what it says:
–verb (used with object)
1. to give over or yield to the power or authority of another (often used reflexively).
2. to subject to some kind of treatment or influence.
3. to present for the approval, consideration, or decision of another or others: to submit a plan; to submit an application.
4. to state or urge with deference; suggest or propose (usually fol. by a clause): I submit that full proof should be required. –verb (used without object)
5. to yield oneself to the power or authority of another: to submit to a conqueror.
6. to allow oneself to be subjected to some kind of treatment: to submit to chemotherapy.
7. to defer to another's judgment, opinion, decision, etc.: I submit to your superior judgment.
I think what makes submitting hard is that often we equate the word "submit" with the word "obey." Looking that up on dictionary.com, we get:
–verb (used with object)
1. to comply with or follow the commands, restrictions, wishes, or instructions of: to obey one's parents.
2. to comply with or follow (a command, restriction, wish, instruction, etc.).
3. (of things) to respond conformably in action to: The car obeyed the slightest touch of the steering wheel.
4. to submit or conform in action to (some guiding principle, impulse, one's conscience, etc.). –verb (used without object)
5. to be obedient: to agree to obey.
so, i think there's a subtle difference between the two. For a person to submit, he or she must want to yield power to another. You can't force submission...because it's a will thing, not an action thing. However, you can force obedience. Someone can obey you...do the stuff that you ask to be done, but not have their will aligned or under yours. It's kind of like, you can make me eat bitter melon, but you can't make me like it. And you probably can't make me want to make it for myself, if you're not around either. But to submit, would be to say, okay, you're right, bitter melon is good for me. Hence I will eat it, because your way of thinking is higher or better than my way...etc. etc.
So for a wife to submit to a husband...she has to want to do it. The husband can't force it. She's called to submit as is fitting in the Lord. She's not called to obey his every whim and command. Just like God cares about our hearts, and not just our actions...God says the same thing to women. I care about how you think about your husbands, not just to do what he says, and think meanly of him...but to willfully submit because it is fitting in the Lord to do so.
Then it begs the question...how and why is it fitting in the Lord. I don't know. But I think it's because it helps keep the peace in the house. Somehow, when you think of a perfect household, I tend to think of a loving mother and father with peaceful kids. I can't really imagine having a godly house...where the wife and husband never agree with anything, and go out of their ways to have it their own way. Now why the Bible calls the wife to submit to the husband and not the husband to the wife...hmm. Maybe it's because if he's the one ultimately responsible for the actions of his family...financially responsible, spiritually responsible, physically responsible, etc...then it only makes sense that those he's responsible for/leading should be good followers. And God does place the responsibility on the husbands/fathers to do so. So I guess that does sort of make sense.
Today though, I think the world promotes the idea of male/female equality. Equal leadership, self-sufficient, independence. etc. But how does that work in a family? To keep a unit together, sooner or later, someone has to submit to each other...otherwise, you wouldn't stay as one unit. I guess the Lord created us to form families, and to stay together as units, until it's time to start new families (when a guy and girl get married to start their own family).
So I think the Lord calls for wives to submit to their husbands (not to obey their husbands) because it promotes peace, harmony, unity, love, gentleness, kindness, etc in their families. And this is rather fitting in the Lord, isn't it.
19: Now, husbands are called to love their wives and not be bitter against them. This kind of seems like it doesn't fit right after verse 18. I mean, if your wife is submitting to you as is fitting in the Lord...what can you be bitter about? But I guess, that sometimes what he might consider submissive-necessary is for her not submissive-necessary. Like they disagree on what she ought to or doesn't have to submit to. The "will" thing sometimes plays a part in this disagreement, I think...because if her "will"s not the same as yours at the same time and place, it could be frustrating. Jesus sets a good example. He had all the reasons to become bitter against His bride, the church. The church often thought she was doing right, but wasn't doing right. And sometimes the church really hurt His ministry. So probably wives do the same things to their husbands. But Jesus never became bitter against the church. Oh he might have scolded them, and tried to correct them, and maybe was frustrated that they didn't understand...but he never gave up on them. He even died for her cause. As a leader, too, I think this says that you should not become bitter against those who follow you, those whom you protect, serve, work for. You even die for them.
I wanted to think about verses 21-25...but at this rate...this might be a 20 page paper...
Friday, July 14, 2006
it's been hecka long since i posted on this site. let's see...since that time, i've married steve. i've moved to san diego. i've graduated from berkeley. and i've found a new home church that i love.
God has blessed much.
Thursday, January 15, 2004
let's see....
on the outside, life feels okay. i keep busy enough that i don't have much time to reflect on stuff. and anytime something starts to bother me, i quickly start doing something so that my emotions can't get in the way and i stay productive instead of dwell on unhappy thoughts.
but as i reflect, i haven't made or had any time to just run away from it all and reflect on life. i haven't been on a retreat to get spiritually recharged in years. i don't know if i want to do it with other people, since most of my frustrations come from people...i sorta should just go somewhere alone and just sit, think, cry, forgive, forget, and pray.
that is, instead of just working and studying like a workaholic.
i think i've managed to push most of my close friends away. and if i haven't...i never had very much in the first place...that is, close friends...i don't keep in contact with those that i used to feel "soooo" close to.
when most of my social contact is through AIM and steven, i think something's gotta be really wrong. but i'm hurt from a lot of people, angry at others, sad about others, and uncomfortable about yet others...and that leaves me with....yeah, not much.
i really should have a more forgiving heart.
and i really should go on that retreat so that i have time to sit, think, cry, forgive, forget, and pray.
Thursday, December 04, 2003
i don't think anyone's gonna read this, at least that i know, anymore...so i want to just vent on this.
i feel hurt and confused and mad and sad and just really really bad about FCS. i know i shouldn't. and i'm hoping that it wasn't intentional. but it really hurt all the same. in the scale of eternity, none of it really matters, but for the present time, it just hurts a lot because it feels like we were just forgotten, or unforgiven, or something for not visiting? or for not going enough? or was it cuz we didn't serve enough? or did we leave no impact for the next group? were we not outgoing enough? or not friendly enough? or not helpful at all? did we just disappear and no one mentions a thing after that? i feel hurt and confused and really really mad and really really bad for feeling really really mad and all this anger just boils inside at others, at myself, and at people that are probably not supposed to be for blame. i don't want to know more about fcs anymore, i don't want to know more about the sweatshirts or the t-shirts or the hangouts because it just reminds me of all the hangouts that "fcs" did and we had no clue that there was gonna be a hangout. it's true that you are a majority in one fellowship, and hence have a stronger bond together, but because of unequal representation from all the fellowships, does that mean you're gonna forget people not in that fellowship? i feel hurt and left out, and i didn't know this or that, and i feel humiliated that i was so happy over something that apprarently wasn't for me to see or hear. to find out about it later made me so mad and sad and frustrated. i dont want to think i'm that stupid to think that you cared for me when you didn't mean for me to recieve that sort of happiness because it wasn't intended for me. i don't want to be a part of this...i don't want to know you...i don't want to care about you...i don't want to pray for you...but i was a part of you for 3 whole years, and the tears just fall and fall and fall, and i cry just thinking about this new generation of you. will you remember those that aren't as visible someday? will you stand up for those that don't look as promising? one never knows who really got in because of who really stood up for who...and who wasn't standing up for who....but we all just take it in for granted, and it hurts and it hurts and it hurts. i'm so mad at myself for being mad, and i have so much else to do...but this takes up so much of my mind, this hurt feeling inside. i'm so mad, and i have no right to be, it makes me selfish, and weak and unwhole. i feel just back to square 1, God, i just am back to square 1...and all the hurt that i wanted to forget the first time...it's not gone. take it away, get away from me, you stupid feelings, i want you gone, because i don't want to be unhappy ever again, anymore. i just want you gone and out of my life, and i'm mad and sad, and i don't want others to know that, because then they'll not like me anymore either. so do i pretend to be dumb again, huh? isn't that my first fault, those older ones who said that i never pretended to be woman enough by just shutting up and pretending to be stupid sometimes? no guy likes to be told that they're wrong, i think it's the same for all people...and hence, now what? cry like a river, i hate you i hate you i hate you.....i'm hurt God, and come back to get me out of it....i don't have time to be hurt...i'm running this race to finish the things that everyday brings, and i can't run because i'm so hurt right now....get me out of it God...help me to be joyful....get me out of this pain. i don't want to think of why this or why that, but just whatever...and move on. so cliche...no wonder it never works.
Thursday, October 09, 2003
i have switched to xanga, since it's more convenient to do one site than two sites. you can find me on
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=bigmakjr
thanks. =)
janet
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
it's september 17, 2003...like 8:30 am...or so.
let's see...how's life been going?
i think school is a lot of work this semester. like a lot of work. i dunno, somehow the entire day passes, and i feel like i'm just in school school school: either sitting in lectures, or discussion sections, or office hours, or studios, or in classrooms trying to figure out the homeworks. i feel majorly academically productive...i don't think i was this productive in a long long time.
work is cool. i think i like jeremy. hahahaha, it's like a decision process that goes on every semester about the gsi i work with. tamas...now that was easy...he was awesome. the others, i usually liked or got to like by the first month or month and half. i think i like jeremy. i think jeremy's a little weird...but not too badly weird. =)
fcs...errr, we need basses. like, that's a new thing. we dont have basses!!! we have tenors!!! yeah, go figure that one out. i don't get it either. where'd they all go? oh well...if you are a practicing christian bass...and live in the berkeley area, and are free to sing with us....please email me!!! i'll give you the hookup to your auditions! it's really fun...(uh huh).
i like going to 1st pres young adult fellowship. they have a lot of interesting people. i missed last week for the first time. =( i chose to work on math homework till 11pm at PDP instead. oh well...i get another chance to go today.
and now...new idea on the career thing: i think i must be psycho...but i think i want to get a master's in ....math.
don't worry, i'll still talk to lots of people so that i keep a sane mind and have the ability to converse with everyone on a normal plane. (instead of complex...muahahaha...erm, never mind)
so i think that's it for now. i've got tons of other stuff to work on...and though all of them are fun....they all have due dates. *sigh* i'll see you in about a month????
love: janet
Monday, August 25, 2003
it's august 25th....dude, it's been a long time since i last wrote. here's what's been happening:
i finished work on july 29th with PCA. i really miss the other PCA teachers...they really are very very cool and fun to hang out with and work with. thanks for teaching me so much about teaching and learning.
since then....
-audrey and andy got married...very pretty wedding...and very very pretty wedding dress. the pastor's pretty funny, had lots of tips for them on how to keep a good marriage.
-i've done CPM training and met some very different teachers in the Central Valley. um, so yeah, i also figured that i don't think i'm a good fit to that job...call it for political, personal, whatever reasons...it just didn't feel right. although i like cpm, and i'm happy about teaching, i'm not sure i'd like to start off with something that's more conservative and traditional and businesslike. it was just weird after being in east bay for this long....so hopefully there's another job out there for me.
-i hung out with john and christine: they're my cousins from brooklyn, NY. christine's going to be a senior and john's going to be in his 2nd year in college this year. very fun cousins, with brooklyn accents...it's wah-ter...not war-der. hahaha. we visited great america, half moon bay state beach, berkeley, and san jose. um, i don't think they were too impressed with the "berkeley culture of telegraph"...it's something one has to take time to get used to or just love it inherently...hmph.
-for my birthday....i did nothing. my mom bought me and steven a cake that my family and i ate...at a good-bye party for my cousins and aunt and uncle the night before. on my birthday, we drove my cousins to SFO, ate some dimsum, slept, and went to church. anyone still want to throw me a very overly belated birthday party with lots of gifts? hahaha. i accept all major credit cards with credit card numbers...
-for steven's birthday, we had a small dinner party at macaroni grill. chilton guys planned it. oh yeah, i still owe jay money, huh....
-ccf summer iv party: we played yodelo! and had food. yeah, it was fun...but the game should be done in a bigger room...=)
-my brother came to stay a night with me in berkeley. i took him to half moon bay state beach, where the waves decided they were going to be mean and steal his glasses (chomp chomp and woooooosh) and not let us really get in the water without threatening to do the same to us (woooosh wooooosh ARGHHHHHH). yeah, so not as much fun. joyce went with us too. i think she thought we were crazy to even get near the water (she said it was freezing, we couldn't feel our fingers or toes or move them after awhile...but it was not cold, really) then we played mahjong till wee late at night, and went back to stkn early to go get glasses. sigh.
-on lock sam closes....i don't like the lawsuit, and i don't like charles hager...but maybe in time, i'll be okay with either of them. don't get me started...but i have a whole bunch of anti-charles-hager ideas for businesses (we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone...especially to the guy who decided to close a business that i really loved) stupid hager. =P i know, i shouldn't be mean...but man, it's hard to let go of that one.
-steve spent a weekend (one of many) in stkn. we had hometown buffet with my mom and brother (if you know my mom, you should be saying, oh wow!), best lumpia (yum), and mcdonalds....oh yeah, i've had a ton of mikke dees lately. hmph. don't worry, it'll stop cause summer's over...school starts today. =(
-i made jalapeno poppers....for those of you who are ignorant of jalapenos and chemical burns, let me advise you....wear gloves when dealing with any peppers. don't seed peppers with bare hands...especially not a whole lot of them. otherwise, you'll be like me, with chemical burns on the hands for over 24 hours, sitting in ER holding half-frozen peas, and waiting for some kind of ointment that somewhat soothes but doesn't take away the burn...and eating lots of advil to knock yourself out. (muahahahaha....shhh, never mind) in case you were wondering, most people tried them....and survived. =)
-and something new: both steve and i forgot our last anniversary...all 3 days of it....hahaha, we've been dating too long to remember our monthly celebrations...that's funny. i didn't even realize it until i just checked my calendar right now. i wonder what that means...are we getting old? awwww.
1
(1) Give thanks to the LORD, for (2) He is good;
For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
2
Oh let (3) Israel say,
"His lovingkindness is everlasting."
3
Oh let the (4) house of Aaron say,
"His lovingkindness is everlasting."
4
Oh let those (5) who [1] fear the LORD say,
"His lovingkindness is everlasting."
that's today's verses from psalm 118. even though i fail all the time, and i suck at doing whatever i try to do...thank you Father, for your lovingkindness is everlasting.
love: janet
